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| SISTERS! LET'S CALL A TRUCE !!
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Until I became the Chief Flirting Officer of FlirtingTime.com, I was totally unaware of the warring attitudes between single Black men and women and how much these presumptions negatively impact upon our community. What do I mean, you say?
I mean the dismissive attitudes, the suspicions, the interrogations, the competitiveness and the overt hostility that seem to shadow many of our lives. At FlirtingTime.com, we are swamped with emails from Black women who claim they want a mate but then scrutinize Black men more intensely than the
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| opening remarks of a KKK convention. |
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And through all of the pointing of the fingers, they rarely ask themselves, "Why do I not know any single, positive Black men?" "How do I contribute to the demise of my relationships?" or "How can I evolve to attract honorable Black men?"
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It's pretty hard to do - to take responsibility, that is. A wise person said: "When you point one finger at another person, remember there are three fingers pointing back at you." Some of us have bought into negative stereotypes about ourselves and believe, "There are no good Black men out there and if you find one, he is either gay or just out of jail." As a result, these women often live solitary lives. Why? Because by repeating this mantra, their words have become a reality.
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Further, some Black women believe that a Black man is not worthy of her social graciousness, a smile, and forget about a 'hello' unless he wears a white collar and is driving a late model vehicle. Black women harboring negative beliefs about Black men tend not to know many, if any, single, positive Black men. Often these Black women engage in male bashing sessions with other bitter Black women and then wonder why Brothers are unwilling to enter their war zone.
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My Sister, we have been told a bunch of lies. There are plenty of single, Black men available and willing to love you, to befriend you, but we, as Black women have to open our hearts and bring more to the table than a job title. We have forgotten that Black men want to curl up with a loving Black woman ---not a resume.
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Yes, we can be highly skilled and educated, but we must also express our feminine wiles, our softness, and our warmth. We must be healthy in mind, body and spirit. We must stop living in the fantasy of an As The World Turns soap opera. We must separate ourselves from Black women who never have a positive thing to say about Black men.
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Honor the multitudes of courageous, positive Black men who are quietly contributing to their communities and who consistently honor and love Black women. They are ignored and criticized because they aren't sporting the Bling-Bling or being bailed out of jail every weekend. Honor them by smiling and saying hello. As a result your social circle will expand and friendship, love and comfort will head your way.
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Remember nothing can enter a closed fist,
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Copyright 2005. All rights reserved.
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